you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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