as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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