Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize