That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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