My first STD was from a foam party
Plan B is the new Plan A
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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