If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
