Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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