508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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