Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
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You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
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I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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