So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
