considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
