Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
