is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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