Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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