While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You pole danced in your parka.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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