Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.

(330): View more from Ohio

I don't know you.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.

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(586): View more from Michigan

i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning

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(802): View more from Vermont

clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(352): View more from Florida

I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.

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(330): View more from Ohio

yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon

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(615): View more from Tennessee

You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs

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(773): View more from Illinois

If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death

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