She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
