Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.