brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
