mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
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Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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