I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Come camping we have xanax and steaks