He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
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We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
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Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
