try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in