make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA