have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
