I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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