By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
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in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
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Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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