You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
