I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
