I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
