nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
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