wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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