I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
