Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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