Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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