she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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