Someone shit on the floor
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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