What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
