glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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