where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
