Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
