then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
