don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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