So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize