we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
