Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
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He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
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I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just had sex on a roof
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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