Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
