U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
