So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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