He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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