I will die if light touches me.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We're too hungover to prance.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
