He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
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His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
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Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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