I'm gonna have a badass scar
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
