beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
