She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
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His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
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I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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