Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
MIDGETS
????
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
