Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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