absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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