Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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