all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Too much gin, very little bucket
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
