Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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