plz talk dirty to me
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize