I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
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We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
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I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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