We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I need water and some morals
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
