I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
