:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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