Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
one might say we're banned from that church
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
