i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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