Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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