Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
