You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
