Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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