You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
