Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize