ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize