Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Randomize