Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
