tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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